Burnt Offerings

Sometimes I wonder why there’s not tons and tons of VC crack!fic and then I remember that large portions of the book are basically crack!fic

#seriously though

#remember that time lestat got louis some hookers to eat as an apology for being a douche

#remember that time armand stole someone’s hands as punishment

#remember that time lestat took louis to go terrorize and old man and then buy louis a coat

#remember that time david broke into lestat and louis’ house and demanded they go to the carnival

#remember that time lestat mentioned he could laugh at carpet for hours on end

#remember that time marius sent armand on fieldtrips to local brothels

#remember that time louis said he was feeling suicidal so david proposed vampire sex and made out with him

#remember that time tarquin got a handjob from his dead demonic twin brother he ate in utero

#remember that time armand thought marius was jesus and then marius gave him a handjob

#REMEMBER BLOOD CANTICLE IN ITS ENTIRETY

#does it make it harder or easier to write crack when your fandom is canonically this cracky

#its a moot point since theres so few vc fics anyway

#generally homosexual
 

#Gold star for this #Golden Moment