Vampire Chronicles Synopsis

[burnadette_dpdl]

I always love these, so when I saw adi_rotynd 's tumblr post with the first 4 books in synopsis, I had to try my hand at completing the list:

VC 


1. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Make a Six-Year-Old into a Vampire

2. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Be Famous

3. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Wake the Mother of All Vampires and Honeymoon with Her While She Slaughters Thousands

4. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Be Human While Some Random Dude Takes Your Superman Body for a Spin

5. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Go to Heaven and Hell on Job Interview, it’s All Fun and Games until Someone Loses an Eye.

6. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: My Name is Armand and I am a Sex Addict, Etc. Also, Marius Totally Abandoned Me and He Sucks.

7. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: This Crazy Mayfair Chick Stole my BF But it’s Cool and I’m Gonna Accept Her Anyways. Also, my BF Tried to Commit Suicide, but it was Cool, bc I Brought Him Back to Life in a Highly Professional and Gentlemanly Manner Group Bloodbath.
8. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: My Name is Marius, I Love Painting, I Babysit Our Parents, and I am Bad at Relationships, Etc. Also, Akasha Told Me Not to Rescue Armand so Quit Calling me a Shitty Guy. 

9. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing:  My Name is Quinn, I’m a Hot Dude who Needs Help Exorcising my Demon, Crazy Chick Stole Who Lestat’s BF Accomplishes this and Ends Up Going to Heaven in the Process. Presumably. 

10. Lestat and Don’t Do the Thing: Mona. Taltos. Rowan. The Story Defies Accurate Synopis. 

 

 

A little self-congratulation, and  these kinds of reaction are the reason I do this...
 

dreamlessmusic reblogged it with: "This is so fucking accurate that it hurts. Because you can’t stop laughing and so your belly starts to ache and you can’t breathe and you make unproper noises trying to contain yourself, but you just can’t ‘cause it’s too damn funny.

But, yeah, poor Lestat. Always fucking up things. Well, at least for 3 books he wasn’t the one doing it. This is a comforting thought. He’s still a lost case though."

demonpyromaniac reblogged it with: "This is so hilariously accurate! Nice job. (I haven’t read some of the later books in forever, but I’m laughing my ass off at the gentlemanly group bloodbath.)"

 (Tumblr link here if you wanna reblog: http://demonpyromaniac.tumblr.com/post/73433060668/lestat-does-the-thing-the-series)

Comments

[adi_rotynd]

<3 <3 <3 HIGHLY GENTLEMANLY AND PROFESSIONAL GROUP BLOODBATH THOUGH

[burnadette_dpdl]

XD Yah that scene was SO cracked-out, but Lestat and David acted so cool and professional, like, STAND BACK MERRICK AND LET THE MEN HANDLE THIS, OH YEAH, WE SORTA NEED YOUR HELP TOO, JUST DO WHAT WE DO.