This made me LOL so hard. I'm glad you posted it here, so I can comment (you know I hate commenting on Tumblr :P).

that time lestat mentioned he could laugh at carpet for hours on end

What about that time he randomly grabbed a rat and stared at it for long minutes, confusing everyone around him?... LOL.

that time tarquin got a handjob from his dead demonic twin brother he ate in utero

I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT. Which is probably a good thing. *shudder*

handjobs are the vampire handshake #apparently

That is a very interesting perspective... *chortle* I can't see Lestat objecting to it much, though.:P

And we have mixed feelings on that, yes we do. But whatever. *ROTFLMAO*